Saturday, June 4, 2011

Plans A, B and C Failed Miserably... But that is OK.

The moment Goldman got words of another Unworthy begging for help, he immediately told poor Temperantia to piss off or be shot. In less polite terms that is. Plan B cannot happen because there ARE no supply trucks. There is a supply HELICOPTER. Plan C is apparently impossible, or so they tell me anyway. But it turns out we don't have to do Plan D.
I at first thought... Hey. Didn't the PTC send a bunch of idiots into The Path of Black Leaves? And that bunch of idiots was armed with their... Laser Rifle thingies. So I asked if we could use the lasers because OBVIOUSLY those PTC grunts will not be needing them anymore. I was told: No. Not "No, but convince me you need them REALLY badly" No. The "No and if you ask again I am going to personally disembowel your psychotic ass here and now" kind of No.
So then I decided to drown my sorrows by reading articles on Cracked. Then I saw something. The Shining Solution to my problems. I went back to the Higher Ups with inspiration for a new idea. And they LOVED it. So they are going to make it happen, and give it to me to Test on Mr. Goldman's estate. What is it you may ask? It is a surprise. A lovely beautiful armored surprised. OOOH THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN.
The downside of course, is I will have to wait a few days. They are devoting a good bit of Man-Power to this. And it will be totally worth it.

10 comments:

  1. Those laser weapon's are called Banhammers I believe, I can't remember.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Proxies read Cracked articles in their spare time?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do you think we just sit around bored and do nothing while waiting for the next mission, Dante?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Some do.

    Also, you're referring to the Laser Carbines. The Banhammers are something else.

    Also, what's your surprise? The Herkimer Battle-Jittney? You do realize that's a non-violent vehicle, right?

    ReplyDelete
  5. It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now would it Killer?

    ReplyDelete
  6. The head has been sent, just thought I'd inform you. You wouldn't want to miss this show.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Is it a robot? A robot salamander? With laser eyes?

    The Mad Ventriloquist doesn't need to know. He just likes guessing.

    Is it a batmobile?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Despite everything I have to say, I really respect the PTC.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You know. A Robot Salamander with Laser Eyes sounds VERY awesome. But no. To my knowledge we have no idea how to make one.

    ReplyDelete
  10. A robot salamander with laser eyes could totally help me out. The resisting ones would be scared so bad they'd have no choice.

    ReplyDelete