Saturday, May 28, 2011

God is Fickle

Well well. Father took an interest in my Target. Which means I do not get to kill the bastard. Oh well. I was going to use him to prepare a theoretical defense.
If Zero is making a weapon from the Bones of Runners The Unworthy/Proxies The Chosen, I shall create a defense against said weapon from the Skin of Innocents and the Unworthy. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AND FUCK YOU. If Zero can create some unholy weapon from bones, I can create a Holy... Shield... From the skin of the unworthy. Since I appear to be more adept at killing than Zero, and his fans, I should be finished with my Shield long before he is... Which brings me to the next topic of discussion...
NAOMI IS BACK *Throws Confetti into the air*. She also wants to "cure" me, turning me into an Unworthy. Not going to happen, and I hope to add your flesh to My Holy Shield. With her, and the New Sages flesh joined together, THIS SHIELD SHALL BE... I have no idea. Invincible? Invincible to whatever weapon Zero is making? Foul smelling... Well that is a given. I digress. It shall be... Something. SOMETHING IMPORTANT NO DOUBT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I Regret My Actions

I should not have burned down Tim Hortons. I can honestly see now why the Canadians were so up in arms about the destruction of one of these places... It is actually pretty good. I am SHOCKED. Maybe Canada does not suck as badly as I thought... Oh who cares. Bunch of French wannabes.
But back to business. The next target is a 20 year old male. No wife, no kid. Disappointing I know. Another round of Flaming Baby Baseball would have been fun. We might try Hockey next time though. Or Golf. Wait. No. Scratch that. Golf is too boring. But I digress. The target is well aware he is being stalked by Father. He seems to be in the stage just before the utter insanity stage. You know, constant paranoia, willingness to sacrifice all of his loved ones to escape death, doodling operator symbols everywhere, constipation, sore throat, nausea, hylophobia, tendency to carry masks around, forgetting how to work a shower/toothbrush/washing machine, insomnia, and the belief that everyone around him is a proxy. Incidentally, that last one is correct.
So. Here is my plan. I am going to stare at him. Just watch him. Just to fuck with him. He will probably get up and try to leave or something. I will continue to stare at him until he walks out the door. Then I will quickly duck under the table, so that when he looks through the window to see if I am still watching him, he will not see me.
Phase two of the plan will then begin. Scarmiglione is already hiding in the back of his (Very Messy) vehicle. I think you can guess where this is going. I fucking LOVE horror movies.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Well Damn.

I was hoping they would wait a little longer before releasing "our" names to the public. I told you all didn't I? The Leaves were stained Red, but not with OUR blood nor the mounties. They never took us. Dead or Alive. I am not as dumb as you people think I am. Though it looks like the Mounties ARE as dumb as we thought they were.You know, I have been thinking about my lack of subtlety and have decided to be a little more... sneaky.
NOW On to Business.
New Sages. NEW FUCKING SAGES. Haku-Chan. Sagey. And Kay. WHAT. I HAD THE CHANCE TO KILL TWO OF THEM... Once I am done here, I am going back to finish you scum off. No playing around. No more Cat and Mouse through the city. I will kill you all. Make you suffer beyond comprehension. Your flesh will as clay in my hands, to be molded into something wonderful. I'll go back and finish Green Man and Forgemaster, turn them into bloody SMEARS on the floor. I'll kill that Mitch bitch. Chop her up and send her to Haku. I only regret there is no one left for me to kill for Kay. Oh well. I will just settle for TORTURING THE SHIT OUT OF HER. Then sending that to Zero. Should make his day. I might even leave a bone intact.

Monday, May 16, 2011

I suppose I did not think this through very well.

Is there no Canadian FISK? Well if their is, he seems more keen to KILL his targets. The Canadian Police (Ooooh Scary.) are looking for us. While certainly no threat, they could delay us. So we are going to be hiding in the wilderness for a few days. I may have a screw or two loose, but even I am not so insane to think that 13 poorly armed proxies can take on the Canadian military. The leaves will be dyed Red. RED RED RED RED RED HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
They will never take us, dead or alive.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Ok ok ok. I am typing this message from the target's home computer. The thing is a total piece of shit, but that is not important. What is important, is that the target has a wife and Baby boy. Father did not mention them. So Malacoda and I are having some fun with them while we wait. And so we have our new favorite sport... FLAMING BABY BASEBALL. We had to remove the head first of course. Hitting a full baby around is very awkward work. So, I was pitching and Malacoda was hitting. FUCKING HOME RUN STRAIGHT INTO MOMMY'S HEAD. It was Glorious. After a few more rounds, the head was no longer fit to hit, sadly. So we had some fun with Mommy. Scraping off the skin on a few places... Snapping a couple bones here and there. And then we received word that daddy is coming home and will be here in 15 minutes. So we finished Mommy off and I came over to the computer to post this. It was a lot of fun. God I love Canadia. The people here are just so.... Killable. Anyway, time to press publish post and then destroy the computer just to add another level of annoyance to this situation. Good Times. Eh?

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Canadia Sucks

Ah... The Grand 51st State. Inhabited only by tourists and people with silly accents. To my surprise, there were not many people who ended their sentences with "Eh?" I was disappointed. To illustrate my disappointment, we decided to burn down some coffee shop... Tim Hortons I think it was. It kind of sucked. Now I enjoy Trolling people. I enjoy it a lot. But in all my years of Trolling... Never have I seen a reaction like the one I got from the people who saw that coffee shop burn. I think I am going to burn down every single one of those places I see from now on. Who the hell is Tim Horton anyway? Some Hockey player I would guess. Eh?
But trolling Canadia is not why I am here. We are currently only a mile or so away from a young man who knows Father. Our job is to play with him a little bit. Not kill him or maim in any way. Father wants this one. So here is our strategy. Cagnazzo and Rubicante will play cat and mouse with the guy. Malacoda and Myself will break into his house and mess with his shit. Spray paint a few Operator Symbols for shits and giggles, leave him E-Mail messages. Steal his money. Leave him some pills (totally harmless ones, I promise. That is what makes it funny). You know. The Usual Proxy things. Alichino and Graffiacane will be look outs for us.
The guy is in a later stage of haunting. So he will not last much longer. Soon his friends and family will find him hanging from a tree. His organs all mysteriously missing... His face twisted into an expression of utter terror. I cannot WAIT to see it. Eh?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Reassignment SUCKS. Seriously. I get comfy and learn my targets schedule and habits, their likes and dislikes and then BAM! I get shipped off to the land of hockey and ungodly content people. Kill me NOW. No seriously. Fucking do it. Zero. Tensor. Killer. NIL.
So I'll bet you wondering why I was reassigned. Well. It is kind of because of the whole Hesperus thing. They want me away from large groups of proxies. So, I have twelve people under my command and that is IT. I already mentioned some of them (Malacoda, Barbariccia, Cagnazzo, Alichino). They are a fairly competent bunch all things considered. Alichino was the one who put down Green Man's pet thingy (Which reminds me, SAGEY. Did that thing have a name?). This means my effective "throw proxies at it until it dies" approach will not be quite as effective. I never thought I would see the day I was reduced to a window knocking, cryptic message proxy. Are all the division heads as idiotic as Al(x)ne? I DESERVE TO BE HUNTING IMPORTANT PREY. Not idiotic blog-less runners or morons like Sagey and Haku-Chan. I should be hunting Zero or Slicey or Robbie.
Oh yeah. Laugh it up people, laugh it up. "You sound so whiny right now Morningstar." OH FUCK YOU. You were not forced from your comfy (Warm might I add) home in the mountains to go to some Godforsaken freezer. Mark my words Runners. MY DAY WILL COME. And the last thing you see before death's cold-as-Canada embrace takes you to the void will be my smiling face staring down at you as your last breath escapes your broken body. My laughter will be the last thing you hear before you awake in the lake of fire.
Addendum: I have something of an Ego, I know. I am proud, I am... Rather arrogant. But I have to say. I am not half the proxy Rika is. I would say well done, but that just seems insufficient praise for that most incredible of attacks on Zero. I am in awe.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Who says I do not understand Psychology?

Sheep are indeed very dumb my dear friends. I may not completely understand you "normal" people as well as I would like, but I DO understand those of a more fanatical mindset. Case in point, I posted that taunt directed at Zero in the hopes that since my location is well known, anyone who is a... Follower of Zero. Or something. Cult of Zero? No, they do not worship him as a God. At least, I do not think so. We'll just call them "The Order of Zero Fanboys." Anyway, I made that post in the hopes that some of them would take offense to me insulting their idol and go after me. Sheep hunting Wolves. HA. Hilariously futile.
Well, it seems I can at least partially verify that there are at least a FEW Runners out there who think like Zero. They are also less competent and far less intelligent. Which is quite an achievement. Long story short, we did the human race a favor and cleansed the gene pool. Not that these guys, much like Zero himself, are very likely to find anyone desperate enough to... Bah, getting off subject. So hard to concentrate these days.
So we caught five Zero Cosplayers and subjected them to some good old fashioned torture to see if they were in any way organized. The results: They are about as organized as any Runner organization could be. Which is to say, not organized at all. They fancied themselves as "Knights" or something.  They were surprisingly soft for Knights. A few broken fingers and most of them were telling me everything I wanted to hear. Sad really. Oh well. As for their numbers, it is difficult to say. Their guesstimates were anywhere from "Oh god make the pain stop" (And around 15 variants there of. It is amazing how creative people can be while being subjected to intense pain) to "75." At this point I began to suspect the trash we captured did not actually know anything of any worth. And it was getting boring.
So I decided we would reenact Ron's death, so we shoved one guy off a tall building. Then I had Alichino pretend to be Pete and Barbariccia pretend to be Clarice. I got to be Clyde's Ghost. We then held our own funeral for Ron. There was lots of crying and reminiscing about all the good times we had, before we detonated the explosives in the coffin. And then there was much rejoicing and merriment. 
Father decided to take two of the others himself. I do not know where he took them or what he did with them. The fourth guy had an accident involving rubber chickens and a piano. I refuse to elaborate. The Fifth guy... Well, I am not exactly sure where he is. I do not remember letting him out of his room. Or unchaining him from the wall. Eh, I am sure he is fine.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Nothing But Sheep

That is all you Runners are. Following those with the charisma or alleged intelligence to lead you around. Robbie Boy, Zero, M, and Strahm fit the bill for the most part. Thus there is a small army of Runners emulating them. Why do I bring this up? Because this is the only reason any Proxy should really fear Zero. Runners who believe in Zero's ideals and are tracking down other Runners and Proxies. Amusingly enough Zero seems to have absolutely no idea that they exist. Oh well. If he did know, he would just kill them all anyway. Maybe. His body count is less than impressive, and his victories in straight up combat are not very intimidating.
Since I assume Zero is watching this blog, and I LOVE watching people become conflicted... Zero, if you were REALLY dealing damage to Him, or His servants, why did He stop Rika from killing you? The answer: You are dealing more damage to Runners than any proxy ever before has. You are their Hero and quasi-messiah, and now you are hunting them down, trying to kill them for simply being victims of a horrific monster. The average Proxy is a mindless puppet, a faceless goon, or an obviously evil psychopath. Redlight, Rika, Conaghan, Alder, Al(x)ne, ME... We were hated from the very beginning. But you. You were loved and respected. Now just another tool for Him. You have hurt them in ways WE never could have. And I thank you for it. Zero, the Greatest Proxy who ever lived.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Now that I have been let out of solitary confinement...

Reach is dead. Most Agents are celebrating it. I never understood why people celebrate someone's death. Surprised? We are an utter sadist, yes, but insulting the dead, celebrating their deaths... It does not seem right, to me. Granted, We would have enjoyed killing Reach as much as the next proxy, but you would not hear me speak ill of him. The body and the mind are but playthings, the soul however is sacred. You can insult the mind and body, but never the soul. It is not right. For once I feel more kinship with the Hallowed. Sitting vacant eyed and drooling all over themselves. Puppets with no puppeteer moving them. Is that what I am? Just a puppet?
Oh what am I saying.Waxing philosophically is so unbecoming of me.
So yes, apparently the Hesperus... thing, is more stubborn than we had hoped. I suppose I should be proud. Now if we could only figure out what triggered it this time, we could possibly keep it from appearing again. Father is not pleased with us. More sacrifices must be made in his name. More Runner blood must be spilled.
Huh. Perhaps that could be the cure. Naomi's blood leaking out her still warm corpse. Perhaps that would end our torment and allow us to serve Father to the very best of our abilities. I still see him in our dreams, watching us play. It is so comforting to know that He is always watching. That He loves us. It is such a good feeling to be loved.