My mission is taking longer than I assumed it would. So to kill some time, we decided we are going to do a few experiments on people. Particularly Runners.
Experiment #1
Meet Carl. Carl has been a Runner for about 3 Months now. Carl is an idiot. When he started seeing Father, he decided to NOT look up information online, and instead start running. Needless to say, he did not last long out there. So here he is, uninjured and scared out of his mind.
Now, here is what we are going to do to Carl: We have Zombie Powder, created using a how-to guide that I am SURE is completely reliable. We want to know if this shit works. We will apply the powder to Carl's face. According to the guide, we should then bury him alive. We shall dig him up in.... say... 96 Hours? Oh, I cannot WAIT to see if we have a new zombie slave. I am going to dress him up like a clown and send him to random birthday parties to do unspeakable things to the people there. For the lulz.
Experiment #2
Meet Frank. Frank has been a Runner for about 2 Weeks. Seems to have read M's Tutorial though, considering he was frantically covering every inch of his motel room with Operator Symbols when we found him. We are going to perform a highly complex scientific process in order to make it possible for me to drop an anvil on his head. Yes. I am doing it. And it will be awesome. After this, we shall research methods of cooking human flesh that does not lead to it tasting like Tuna.
Experiment #3
This one is a doozy. Unfortunately, I cannot reveal what it is. Suffice to say, it could lead to proxying becoming MUCH easier. If it succeeds that is. Wish me luck.
Experiment #4
Meet Emily. Emily has been a Runner for exactly two days. So, the experiment is simple. We tie her to some train tracks, and run her over with a train, while I am in a silly top hat with a stick-on Dastardly Whiplash mustache. Why? FOR SCIENCE.
I am sure I can come up with more experiments to do later that will no doubt benefit mankind. Or I can keep doing what I have been doing. Either way. Father should be... Completely apathetic about my achievements here. As always.
Oh and Haku-Chan. See you soon.
This sounds like something out of a Daffy Duck cartoon. I think I could learn to like you quite a bit.
ReplyDeleteI think you have a little too much free time.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely thinking Wile E. Coyote right now.
ReplyDeletehunt properly
ReplyDeleteor are you afraid to
Or the hilarity! While you at it, see how long it take to chop one in half using only a herring. I've always wondered about that...
ReplyDeleteBut I digress. If they were captured, then they were obviously weak. I thought you'd be out hunting bigger pray, Star of the Morning. Perhaps if we meet, I may avenge those deaths, and all the others.Perhaps not though. Better to leave it to someone else, that way they can clean up the mess...
-The Liesmith
Tell me how the Emily one goes.
ReplyDeleteWell, my mission currently is more of the "information gathering" kind. Give it a few more days. These "experiments" are purely for my amusement while I wait.
ReplyDeleteAs for their "weakness" I would say that they are no weaker than you or any of the other fools who flee from Father. They are however unluckier than most of you.
Awe Lukie~poo no need to act out for my attention! Just popping in to let you know that I have found you trail, and we are coming after you. I nearly have the curing process perfected too so now it is nearly painless, and who knows the electro-shock therapy might correct some of the nastier sides of your personality.
ReplyDeleteSee you soon <3
Naomi
I have very thick skin most of the time. It is very difficult to rattle me. But I will not tolerate this Lukie-poo business.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know it is MY trail? There are dozens of murderous proxies out there.
I see what you did there.
ReplyDelete