They keep urging me to stop updating this blog. I know that they are probably right, seeing as how I am giving away information that could be used against us (Not that any of you are smart enough to take advantage of that). But I just CANNOT. I do not know why. It is a funny feeling, a funny feeling a funny feeling a funny feeling. I just... Have to. I have to. Yes.
So, experiment reports thus far: Carl is still buried... Although I must confess I do not remember where (I am sure someone does... right?). Frank unfortunately did not survive his head being turned to paste. Sad. I was going to use him as a test subject in Project: Shoot-A-Man-Out-Of-A-Giant-Slingshot, which is a highly scientific program meant to shoot a man out of a giant fucking slingshot. Into space. FOR SCIENCE AND LULZ. Experiment #3 Failed miserably. Experiment #4 Was likewise a failure because some blond jackass in a red coat untied her at the last second. We had to terminate the test subject and Dudley dipshit there. Oh well.