Saturday, May 7, 2011

Who says I do not understand Psychology?

Sheep are indeed very dumb my dear friends. I may not completely understand you "normal" people as well as I would like, but I DO understand those of a more fanatical mindset. Case in point, I posted that taunt directed at Zero in the hopes that since my location is well known, anyone who is a... Follower of Zero. Or something. Cult of Zero? No, they do not worship him as a God. At least, I do not think so. We'll just call them "The Order of Zero Fanboys." Anyway, I made that post in the hopes that some of them would take offense to me insulting their idol and go after me. Sheep hunting Wolves. HA. Hilariously futile.
Well, it seems I can at least partially verify that there are at least a FEW Runners out there who think like Zero. They are also less competent and far less intelligent. Which is quite an achievement. Long story short, we did the human race a favor and cleansed the gene pool. Not that these guys, much like Zero himself, are very likely to find anyone desperate enough to... Bah, getting off subject. So hard to concentrate these days.
So we caught five Zero Cosplayers and subjected them to some good old fashioned torture to see if they were in any way organized. The results: They are about as organized as any Runner organization could be. Which is to say, not organized at all. They fancied themselves as "Knights" or something.  They were surprisingly soft for Knights. A few broken fingers and most of them were telling me everything I wanted to hear. Sad really. Oh well. As for their numbers, it is difficult to say. Their guesstimates were anywhere from "Oh god make the pain stop" (And around 15 variants there of. It is amazing how creative people can be while being subjected to intense pain) to "75." At this point I began to suspect the trash we captured did not actually know anything of any worth. And it was getting boring.
So I decided we would reenact Ron's death, so we shoved one guy off a tall building. Then I had Alichino pretend to be Pete and Barbariccia pretend to be Clarice. I got to be Clyde's Ghost. We then held our own funeral for Ron. There was lots of crying and reminiscing about all the good times we had, before we detonated the explosives in the coffin. And then there was much rejoicing and merriment. 
Father decided to take two of the others himself. I do not know where he took them or what he did with them. The fourth guy had an accident involving rubber chickens and a piano. I refuse to elaborate. The Fifth guy... Well, I am not exactly sure where he is. I do not remember letting him out of his room. Or unchaining him from the wall. Eh, I am sure he is fine.

16 comments:

  1. Okay, I take back all the cracks I've made about you being boring. I'm sticking to the "you're a mass-murdering psychopath quisling" though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. bah, knights... ...

    Indeed we are stupid. But not everybody are sheeps at all, or at least not from a human shepard. You are not so different then, Wayward brother.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Flattery will get you nowhere Sagey.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Zero's copy cats should be their own boss.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I would not normally advocate random murder.
    However Zero copy cats is the last thing any of us need.
    - Indrid

    ReplyDelete
  6. HA! I swear, I needed that laugh after the last few days. You're good for that~ I am intensely curious about the rubber chickens and piano though... the only scenario I have playing out in my head is one that should have been video-taped. Anyone who chooses to follow ANY the Veterans like lost puppies get what they deserve~

    I wonder: if you ever managed to get a hold of Zero himself... what would you do, Twinkle~?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Who says I did not video tape it.
    I am not entirely sure what I would do if I had Zero at my mercy. On one hand, I could spare him and let him continue killing off Runners. But this could also come back to bite me in the ass. On the other hand, I could kill him and be done with it. But if I did this, then the hilarity of Zero killing his former comrades and friends would be lost.
    But I suppose the latter is the safest route, so I would probably kill him. Or let Rika do it, if she so desired to.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Rika can't do shit to Zero in my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Listen Proxies.
    You may not know it but you need the runners.
    Light needs Darkness.
    Green needs red.
    Zero is upsetting the order of things.
    He will be the end of everything.
    You must delay him until he is caught by the shadow.
    - Indrid

    ReplyDelete
  10. .......If we ever cross pathes, any and all killings MUST be put on the back-burner just long enough for me to see that tape~ Have a laugh first, let the blood spill later, then probably follow-up with another burst of laughter from the victor. Sound good to you~?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I find it interesting that you're killing the Zero wannabes. Aren't they helping your cause, like Zero?

    Although I'm kind of glad you're killing them, if only because it means you're distracted by something...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well Dante, assuming the Zero Fanboys have actually KILLED any Runners, they are also a threat to US. As such, I would like to know how many there are, how to avoid them, who they are targeting, etc, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Proxies have Morningstar have no direction. No real goal. They kill and kill and kill and then giggle about it like small girls.

    It's like they're trying to get Tall and Skinny's attention like a child who is desperate for attention.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Real Goal? What does it matter. In this profession you do not live long enough to have a goal other than survival. Before too long, He will send us against a Runner who was just prepared enough to kill us. And that will be the end. So I might as well have some fun before that. And what is more fun than severing a man's spirit from his body in the most painful way possible.

    ReplyDelete
  15. That's why I love my job. I don't have to deal with Runners. And if by some chance one actually realizes that He had larger concerns than humans and tries to involve themselves, I've got back-up.

    Really, all I have to worry about is not offending the various Others who could kill me in all sorts of very imaginative ways. A good deal, all things considered. Master is too good to me.

    -STEWARD

    ReplyDelete