Sunday, August 28, 2011

New Jersey. Again.

Can you guess who my next target is? Hehehehe.
We made a new friend as well. Very sweet woman. Poor thing has had such a rough time... We are here to help her with her... Problems. Teaching her the fine art of Killing the SHIT out of your enemies. And guess what? She isn't half bad. I wonder. Can you guess who my new friend is?
This is going to be SO fun. Wish us luck. 

Friday, August 26, 2011

Well That Was Amusing

The Runner Party has been destroyed. The names of the victims are Penny, Damon and Brandon. The fourth one escaped. Jessie was her name I think. Doesn't matter really. We had such fun. So. Operation Gardener. We managed to get this Big Hedge Maze, see.... And we kidnapped the Runners. Put them deep in the Maze. Then I took a nap and waited for them to finally WAKE UP.
So once the sleeping beauties woke from their nap... The Game Began. We had Recluse guarding the Maze's exit. All the others were wandering the Maze in the dead of night... Which explains why Gleeman (Who would not shut the fuck up, and had a Chainsaw that was on FIRE) was so easily avoided. It also explains why Darkhorse was useless. He refused to take off his sunglasses and thus could not SHOOT STRAIGHT.
But aside from those problems... Jack proved useful. He managed to capture Penny and brought her back to the... Command area. We hoped the others would to rescue her... But I think they got lost. Or Gleeman scared them off. So Jack skinned Penny alive. It was rather gruesome.
Tiger was the next to find them. They were trying to be sneaky. Samedi was helping Darkhorse out of the Maze, and the Trio was following them. Isn't that cute? They were trying to CHEAT. Tiger took out... Brandon I think it was. He snuck up on them and Grabbed Brandon from behind. The Others did not realize until Tiger came back for more. So they took off running... And by some stroke of luck, they made it to the exit.
Damon was a brave man. Now a brave bloody smear on the ground. He attacked Recluse at the Gate. Managed to hold her off until Jessie escaped. Before Recluse went Zangief on his ass. Poor, poor Jessie. All Alone now. I even waved goodbye to her. Ah... Father will get her. Or another member of the family. She isn't my problem anymore. By the way. Brandon. Tasted WONDERFUL.
Now that this fun is over, I have business in New Jersey. My Newest Plan. My GREATEST... Plan. You see ladies and gentlemen... I made a new friend.
Addendum: Guys. I just saw Jessie's Comment. SHE HAS A BLOG. WOO HOO! I JUST FUCKED UP ANOTHER BLOGGER. HELL YES.
1. Serve Father.
2. Track Large Runner Party and Initiate Operation Gardener.
3. Find Elaine Again. For some FUN.
4. Kill Haku-Chan's Guard Dog.
5. Burn Down Forgemaster's house. Again.
6. Return to North Carolina to Pay Respects... Don't Ask.
7. Replace Dead Minions. (Will Probably look to the nearest Circus/Asylum for Potential Recruits)
8. Send the After Action Reports I keep forgetting about to the appropriate Family members.
9. Demand a Pay Raise from Superiors.
9.5 When pay raise is rejected, egg their houses and blame it on... Rhodes. I dislike him. Don't know why.
10. Meet With Andromeda in Tennessee. IF there is time. No Promises.
11. Come up with a Title to replace "Doctor." I am thinking "Lord Morningstar. Sir Morningstar. Captain Morningstar. Darth Morningstar... Opinions? Suggestions? 
12. Murder Ronald McDonald.
13. Initiate Operation Mother's Love.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Minor Update

Ronald McDonald is now officially on my Death List. Cannot fucking believe it. That Clown's retarded minions fucked up my order. I demanded KETCHUP AND CHEESE be on my Hamburger. NOT FUCKING MUSTARD. FUCK MUSTARD. THAT SHIT IS DISGUSTING. I SAID MY ORDER FOUR GODDAMN TIMES TO THAT SHIT-HEAD AT THE WINDOW. THEN HE HAD THE BALLS TO NOT FIX IT WHEN I CAME BACK TO COMPLAIN. So I blew his brains out. What little there was. After that I asked to see the Manager. Very Polite man. A little bit on edge though. Must have been a rough day. He fixed the problem. Still. This is not acceptable. Making me waste a bullet AND my time on some jackass high school drop-out. Gleeman does not seem to like Ronald McDonald either. He decapitated The Fake McDonald sitting in the bench. WE SHALL MAKE THAT CLOWN PAY FOR THIS INSULT. Ronald McDonald insulted children of Him. Therefore, he has insulted Him. He has insulted FATHER. DO YOU HEAR ME RONALD? YOU HAVE INSULTED A GOD. YOU WILL FEEL HIS WRATH FOR THIS. AND MINE.
1. Serve Father.
2. Track Large Runner Party and Initiate Operation Gardener.
3. Find Elaine Again. For some FUN.
4. Kill Haku-Chan's Guard Dog.
5. Burn Down Forgemaster's house. Again.
6. Return to North Carolina to Pay Respects... Don't Ask.
7. Replace Dead Minions. (Will Probably look to the nearest Circus/Asylum for Potential Recruits)
8. Send the After Action Reports I keep forgetting about to the appropriate Family members.
9. Demand a Pay Raise from Superiors.
9.5 When pay raise is rejected, egg their houses and blame it on... Rhodes. I dislike him. Don't know why.
10. Meet With Andromeda in Tennessee. IF there is time. No Promises.
11. Come up with a Title to replace "Doctor." I am thinking "Lord Morningstar. Sir Morningstar. Captain Morningstar. Darth Morningstar... Opinions? Suggestions? 
12. Murder Ronald McDonald.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Judgement Day

So. Yeah. I changed my mind. Are you really surprised?
ANYWAY now that this little distraction is over, I need to get back to slaughtering unlucky morons in cartoonish ways. I admit. It has been too long since I have had a round of Flaming Baby Baseball, or forced an idiot to play "Dodge the Anvil." Frankly, I feel that the bit depression I have had is due to a drop in my creativity. It is annoying and it needs to be fixed. And so it shall. We have a GROUP of Runners just WAITING to be slaughtered. And I have a glorious, GLORIOUS plan.
Also. Need some feedback here... Am I the only one here that finds Furbies Creepy? And how plausible is it to install Cameras in their eyes? My Duck Plan kind of fell through. This is the backup... Actually. A LOT of my to-do lists activities fell through. I am especially sad about not getting the bicycle Arkady promised. Why did you have to go and kill yourself like that? Jackass.
Anyway. I am sure everyone is happy I am not causing the end of the world. This Year. Hehehe. We will be hanging on to the Syringes though. Maybe we can use them once or twice more. So. How about a revised list?

1. Serve Father.
2. Track Large Runner Party and Initiate Operation Gardener.
3. Find Elaine Again. For some FUN.
4. Kill Haku-Chan's Guard Dog.
5. Burn Down Forgemaster's house. Again.
6. Return to North Carolina to Pay Respects... Don't Ask.
7. Replace Dead Minions. (Will Probably look to the nearest Circus/Asylum for Potential Recruits)
8. Send the After Action Reports I keep forgetting about to the appropriate Family members.
9. Demand a Pay Raise from Superiors.
9.5 When pay raise is rejected, egg their houses and blame it on... Rhodes. I dislike him. Don't know why.
10. Meet With Andromeda in Tennessee. IF there is time. No Promises.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

WHAT. NO. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. NO NO NO NO NO. HE IS DEAD. NOW HE CAN'T TELL ME NOT TO USE THE SYRINGES. THAT MEANS...
He... He can't be dead. I mean... He's Redlight. Surely he... Planned for this. Right? A Backup plan. ITS REDLIGHT. HE CAN'T BE DEAD... Fuck what do I do what do I do... Those things are just... Three feet away from me... Ten Days Redlight said. Two Days. Two Days left before I am to END everything. The World. These things can end the world, according to Sagey... I HAVE ORDERS... I will not disobey. I shall not disobey. I cannot disobey. I WILL NOT DISOBEY... Two Days. Two Days left. Nothing to worry about for two days...

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Now... I Am Getting Pissed Off

FUCK the Management. FUCK My Handler. FUCK Valtiel. FUCK Redlight. I Joined up to Kill for FATHER. Not for them. First Redlight comes in here and tells me to commit genocide in... Three Days. Then. JUST last night, my BELOVED Handler Valtiel showed up. And Tortured me. TORTURED. You'll forgive me for not giving details on the experience, but having the equivalent of your chest exploding along with drowning in Liquid Nitrogen is NOT a memory I look back on fondly. The Point is. The reason he tortured me... Is because I am apparently not living up to HIS standards. HIS. Not Fathers. HIS. That arrogant prick thinks I need to live up to HIS standards. FUCK HIM. He didn't even tell me WHAT I was doing wrong. Just that I was doing it wrong. HELPFUL ISN'T HE...

My bitching about my superiors aside... The tracker we have for our next targets is either lazy or incompetent. Because he still has not found them yet. It is a small group of Runners who have not been running for long... I forget the names. With LUCK we will find them before the Apocalypse. I would like to kill a few people before the skies begin raining fire and shit. Wish me luck I guess. Or don't. If you don't, odds are I will see you soon. And rip out your still beating heart. And eat it. Hahahahahaha. You know, I have never actually done that. Seems a bit... Unsanitary? Raw Heart Meat. Maybe I should rip out the still beating heart and THEN cook it. Season it. Make some french fries. Get Ketchup for a more authentic look. THEN EAT IT. Yeah... I think I'll do that.

Addendum: You know. Valtiel never ONCE talked about the Syringes. Unlike every other ProxyChosen I have spoken to in the past few days. Call me paranoid but... I think he knows something I don't. I am beginning to suspect I am being manipulated by my superiors. Or Valtiel is just really stupid, which to be fair, is not unlikely.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

We Shall Pretend that never Happened, yes?

So it is back to business as usual. Find a Runner, Kill a Runner, get Chinese Food, then repeat. We have quite a few targets to deal with in this city, so I proposed splitting up. One Family Member for One Target. I was sent after a 25 year old woman by the name of Jill. Jill's most noteworthy traits were that she was very, very poor. She also had an adorable little doggy named Cerberus. It was nowhere NEAR as threatening as the name would imply. Not even a barker. ANYWAY. Because Jill is poor and has a doggy to feed, she has become the neighborhood's "Master of Unlocking." By that I mean she is a dirty thief. Stealing whatever she can from whoever she can. She first saw Father around... Three Weeks ago? Somewhere around there. Tracker found her, informed us, and here we are.
So here was the plan. I entered her apartment, as stealthily as I could. I had with me a jack-in-the-box minus the jack, the music box I took from the Goldman estate (I adore the thing. Such a calming melody) and my usual knives. I butchered the dog, cut off it's head and put it in the jack-in-the-box. I placed the dog-in-the-box on the largest bloodstain on the floor. I placed the music box just in front of the door and turned it on. I myself, then hid in a closet nearby.
About half an hour later, Jill came in. I know this, because the music box stopped. So I got ready in my hiding spot. She did EXACTLY what I knew she would do. Despite seeing an unknown Music Box playing, proving that someone had been (Or still IS) in her house, she entered anyway. I heard her nervously call for her doggy. Then she found the blood and the box. I heard her say "What? What is THIS?" I can GUESS that she slowly approached it, knowing full well what would be inside, filled with denial... It did take a while for me to hear "The Monkey Chased the Weasel" start playing. I heard her gasp, wordless, not a SCREAM... And well... It has been too long since I have tasted the flesh of an Unworthy. We dined on Jill Sandwiches this night.
The other's did not have such interesting kills. Tiger killed his quarry in a park by asphyxiation (Anaconda chokes Platypus, I think he termed it). Recluse beat her target to death with a Golf Club. Gleeman used poisoned animal crackers to kill his prey (NEVER, EVER ACCEPT FOOD FROM FUCKING CLOWNS.) Darkhorse ran his target over with a car. Samedi claims he had a sword duel to the death with his target. I think he is full of shit and just shanked the fucker from behind. Jack... I am not sure what the hell he dead. He came back to us carrying a bloody sleeping bag. His target was not the person inside, nor were they the only source of the blood. He assured us that the target was most certainly dead. The questions is, how many OTHER people are most certainly dead.
Also do not worry. The Syringes are locked away tightly, and I doubt these idiots are going to mess with them anymore. Unless I tell them to, of course. I admit... I have some reservations about using them. But orders are orders, right? Redlight is family under Father. Right? Father knows best.
Addendum: Jack killed Twelve campers before he got the right one. According to him "Yonder knaves were committing art most grievous sin of hither yond fornication. HARK! I haveth punishedith thine targeths for their SIN."

Monday, August 8, 2011

Miracle Grow...

... From Hell. THAT is what is in the Syringes. Holy FUCKING SHIT... I am not a squeamish person but... Ok... Ok. Let me explain.
Earlier... Yesterday... I finally decided to put down Redlight's case. Eat. Sleep. You know. Do important things. So I locked the case in a room and gave STRICT orders NOT to go in and NOT to open the case. Terminator ignored me it seems. Samedi woke me up and rushed me to the room, now unlocked, where the Case was... Inside I saw Terminator writhing on the floor. I saw one of the Syringes, minus a little bit of the liquid laying beside him (God only knows what would have happened if it broke)... I picked it up and moved away from Terminator. He was screaming and bleeding from his eyes, nose, mouth, ears and hands. Upon... Closer inspection I saw something moving underneath his skin. He was begging for help... Then all at once he went quiet.
Roots I guess they were... Burst through his eyes, and out his nose, ears and mouth, jabbing themselves into the ground. THROUGH the concrete floor. Terminator was still making noises, so I assume he was still alive at this point. His limbs were beginning to twist in unnatural positions as well. Like a contortionist. Only it looked like Terminator was in severe pain. You could hear the snapping of bones, the ripping of flesh and GOD knows what else in between his panicked screams, still muffled with by the roots. It might have been a beautiful sight had I not been so horrified.
Tiger pulled us all away from Terminator at this point and slammed the storage room door shut. "What the fuck did Redlight give us?" "What the hell was that?" Followed by a long silence. I can't even tell you WHY I found it so scary. I have seen worse... Not MUCH worse, but I seen worse deaths. This one was just so... Wrong. Everything about it felt so wrong about it... It felt as bad as Redlight.
Roughly... Three hours later, we opened the door, and... There was a tree there now. It's roots dug deep into the ground, It was as tall as the storage room was (About 12 Feet Tall). It had no leaves on it's branches... It's bark seemed to have bones jutting out of it... One of the branches ended in what I believe to be Terminator's left arm. The end of the branch looked like a hand... I could swear it was twitching a bit. The aroma of death filled the air around the tree, and I could see that every fly in the building was buzzing about, trying to find the rotting meat that emitted the stench.
As you can imagine, we are getting out of here. Redlight will probably be pissed that Terminator used some of that... Substance. But he paid the price... It was not my fault. Not at all. We are getting out of this city. Away from that TREE... Need to get back on track... Back to the killing... Back to the fun. Away from THAT... Far, far away... We are keeping the Syringes close. We will not destroy them. But we will not use them... Yet. Redlight's orders still stand. If He wants us to kill the world, so be it.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Redlight

Jesus Christ I am freaking out here. Redlight. GODDAMN Redlight showed up. He is alive. Fucking Hell, he really is alive. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Shit. Ok... So we were all sitting down planning our next mission. Then we heard a door open... And there he was, carrying a metal suitcase with him. The Others did not recognize him, so they pulled weapons... Argh. Let me just give you the conversation. I remember it perfectly because my GOD was I scared.

RL: "Hmph, I see you've been keeping busy with the usual teamkilling and random chaos..."
(At this point, the morons pulled guns out and aimed at Redlight.)
MS: "PUT THOSE AWAY YOU MORONS..."
MS: "You... Aren't dead?"
(At this point he sort of waved me off and set the suitcase down on a table)
RL: "No.  It isn't quite as easy as Robert thought, though the last few weeks haven't been a banner time."
(He snapped his fingers and gestured towards the case at this point)
RL: "Got a present for you."
MS: "Everyone out. NOW."
( The idiots went away, and I approached Redlight at this point. I freely admit that I was terrified.)
RL: "Alright, this is some hazardous material."  (He gestured to the case) "It's to be handled cautiously, now Luke, I know how you get when you get a box of fun toys, but this is a serious hazard."
(Son of a bitch used THAT name for me. How DARE he use that name.)
MS: "Right. Why are you giving this to me, if you DON'T want me to use it?"
RL: "Ohhh, time and a place.  See, I've got myself a..."  (He drummed his fingers on the metal) "A little insurance here.  In case things turn sour."
(He turned to the side here and I noticed that one of his friggen eyeballs were hanging out.)
RL: "Between you and me, Immortality's sometimes not worth the effort."
(He sort of laughed at this point... Fucking creepy laugh.)
RL:  "Due to the....malady from our mutually loathed and departed pain in the ass, Sagel...I've been recruited on the grounds of self-preservation, to find a way to kill a certain plasma spewing tree.
(He opened the case and there were 12 Syringes filled with a weird white liquid inside.)
MS: "And these Syringes can kill the tree?"
RL: "No, I don't think so.  What this is...is a little concoction I put together, from a first hand sample."
(He balled his hands into fists at this point and trembled a bit. I think I know what he means by first hand sample...)
RL: "Anyway...these little gems seem to infect others with a rather serious affliction."
(He sort of put his hand over one of the syringes and then his tone got more quiet... I don't think he was actually talking to ME when he said these next words)
RL: "Roots, branches. It's like a cancer,  it just...it just eats you up, sometimes in a day, or a moment, but worst...worst is when it just sits there and..."
(I think he remembered I was still there at this point)
RL: "Anyway, here's the deal.  If you don't hear from me in ten days, you get to go have some of your playtime with this stuff."
(He looked me right in the eyes at this point. Once again. I am fucking terrified of this man. I can't say why. But he is the most terrifying person I have ever met.)
RL:  "Because if I'm going down, I'll take the world down with me.  You see, it only takes a dab of this stuff to kill, it's almost a supernatural poison, you see.  Which is why I urge caution."
MS: "Alright. So, just how much chaos will this cause? Any particular people I should inject?"
(He spread his arms open at this point)
RL: "There's probably enough in there for well over a hundred people, so by no means do you need to be particular.  The people I'm going to have to go see, well, they really don't like it when you threaten the public."
(He shut the case at this point)
RL: "Do me proud, kid."
(He began to walk away and I heard him say... This.)
RL: "The world turns to ash..."
(And then he stopped in the doorway. I swear to GOD I saw something moving in his back. Just pulsating twitching movement. Something moving around in there... And then he left.)

Yeah. So. That happened. I am... In a state of shock and utter TERROR. I don't even want to KNOW what these syringes do. Goddamn. I... I hope I never see him again. I have never felt such a... Fuck it. I am going to bed. Dream sweet dreams with luck. Nothing about Trees. God... Father help me. Father help me...