Doctor Morningstar

THAAAAAT'S RIGHT BOYS AND GIRLS. IMMA DOCTOR NOW!!!!
So we broke into this guy's house and he had a D.S.W. Degree thingy. So we took it, applied a little white-out, and BAM. I am a DOCTOR now. Now all that is left is for me to get a nice fancy mask of sorts and an ominous cape, and my LIFE'S GOAL will be complete.
In other news, I am being conscripted to test a few new recruits out. Make sure they can handle an important job like this. Obviously I will also have to assign them new NAMES like mine. DOCTOR Morningstar. Ooooh I love it I love it I love it. Doctor Morningstar, Doctor Morningstar, DOCTOR MORNINGSTAR HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh... A shame the new blood will never be able to have a Name as awesome as mine. And they will probably not survive the training. HEY. As a favor from me to you, how about I tell you what kind of training we go through these days? Wouldn't that be nice of me? So what do you say, want me to tell you?

 Revised to-do list.

1. Serve Father.
2. Set an Orphanage on Fire.
3. Harass the Sages.
4. Recruit more Children to our Cause.
5. Send said children on suicide missions against Unworthy who do not kill children.
6. Find a replacement for Killer. Any Volunteers?
7. Flag Youtube Videos.
7.5 Keep Team 4-Star and Little Kuriboh off of Youtube.
8. Practice Laugh.
9. Initiate Operation Insano.
10. Throw Water Balloons at a certain Hospital.
11. Gut that amateur Arkady. AFTER he buys me that Bicycle he promised.
12. Learn to play Piano.
13. Thirteen is unlucky.
14. Have a Wizard's Duel with Sagey. I cast bullet lvl .45
15. Steal candy from a baby. Shoot said baby out of a catapult at the aforementioned Hospital. (We have the Baby and the Catapult now)
16. Kill whatever is causing these weird ass dreams. The most recent one had me killed TWICE. And also Vandalizing Maduin's mask, GOD that was funny.
17. Shoot Thage. Drag corpse around a city three times while on a Horse.
18. MURDER GUT TORTURE CUT BUTCHER KILL KILL KILL THAT BITCH.
19. Initiate Project Quackerjack
20. Train Recruits
21. Compare Body Count to famous Serial Killers to see where I stand.

My latest plans

It seems to be rather slow right now, and I need amusement. Thus Project Quakerjack, and Operation Insano. Operation Insano is the product of one of my life long goals: to be a Doctor. But how does one become a Doctor? Well. The obvious way, simply put, is to steal someone's doctorate degree. Which is exactly what I am going to do. Once that is done, I shall use my new Sciencey Doctor powers to initiate Project Quackerjack. It is a brilliant plan to create yet another glorious weapon for Father's arsenal. We shall take a host of Rubber Duckies, and plant EXPLOSIVES in them. We shall use them like Grenades... Victims will be too entranced by their cuddly plastic visages to run away from the explosion. It is a FOOL-PROOF plan. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Am I not a genius?

Revised to-do list.
1. Serve Father.
2. Set an Orphanage on Fire. (We're eatin' GOOD tonight)
3. Harass the Sages.
4. Recruit more Children to our Cause.
5. Send said children on suicide missions against Unworthy who do not kill children.
6. Find a replacement for Killer. Any Volunteers?
7. Flag Youtube Videos.
7.5 Keep Team 4-Star and Little Kuriboh off of Youtube.
8. Practice Laugh.
9. Initiate Operation Insano.
10. Throw Water Balloons at a certain Hospital.
11. Gut that amateur Arkady.
12. Learn to play Pipe Organ.
13. Thirteen is unlucky.
14. Have a Wizard's Duel with Sagey. I cast bullet lvl .45
15. Steal candy from a baby. Shoot said baby out of a catapult at the aforementioned Hospital.
16. Shoot down a certain Helicopter. I don't care if it was a dream or not.
17. Shoot Thage. Drag corpse around a city three times while on a Horse.
18. MURDER GUT TORTURE CUT BUTCHER KILL KILL KILL THAT BITCH.
19. Initiate Project Quackerjack

My Glorious Return

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I! HAVE RETURNED!
Finally I am out of Lumberjack Land! I could kiss the ground. In fact I have. I have already celebrated my return by drowning a bag of puppies, and sneaking into a nursing home, then turning off some old people's oxygen. HeheheheheHAHAHAHAHA. I even lit one fire and pushed his wheel chair down some stairs. HA. It is good to be back. But where to now? I have received no more orders. Maybe I should finally get around to making that To-Do list... Ok Here goes.
1. Serve Father.
2. Set an Orphanage on Fire.
3. Harass the Sages.
4. Recruit more Children to our Cause.
5. Send said children on suicide missions against Unworthy who do not kill children.
6. Find a replacement for Killer. Any Volunteers? Found One.
7. Flag Youtube Videos.
7.5 Keep Team 4-Star and Little Kuriboh off of Youtube.
8. Practice Laugh.
9. ???
10. Throw Water Balloons at a certain Hospital.
11. Gut that amateur Arkady.
12. Learn to play Spanish Guitar.
13. Thirteen is unlucky.
14. Have a Wizard's Duel with Sagey. I cast bullet lvl .45.
15. Steal candy from a baby. Shoot said baby out of a catapult at the aforementioned Hospital.
16. Shoot down a certain Helicopter. I don't care if it was a dream or not.
17. Shoot Thage. Drag corpse around a city three times while on a Horse.
18. MURDER GUT TORTURE CUT BUTCHER KILL KILL KILL THAT BITCH.
Regrettably. All of this must be done without my precious Slendermobile. It was confiscated by the higher ups to be mass produced or something. For important missions. BUT THE ORIGINAL IS BEST. We even gave it a beautiful periwinkle blue paint job. Complete with Operator Symbols to look badass. Probably some blood stains though. But hey, Red/Brown and Periwinkle match. Right?

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

You are the best Father in the world. We love you so much. We made a present for you, from the flesh and bones of your lost Children, so that they may never be forgotten. We hope you like it.

I Love the Smell of Burnt Flesh in the Morning

Smells like... Bacon. I feel like bragging right now, so I will tell you exactly how the attack happened.
At around 12:10 AM we drove up to the mansion and found the gates open and the power out. Our insiders linked up with us and entered the Slendermobile. The night shift guards were slower to respond than expected. So we set one of the buildings inside the courtyard on fire. That woke them up. Upon rushing out to see what the hell is going on, I think they shit themselves. Then we shot them. Then ran over their corpses. The Sound was lovely. Like Rice Crispy Treats. Anyway. We spent the next few minutes burning the people dumb enough not to run, out of cover. After I was satisfied we killed most of them, we exited the Slendermobile.
Imagine it, if you will. Buildings set ablaze with smoke flying high in the night sky. The Fire's roar matched only by the wails of those not yet dead. On the ground is a man, shot and bleeding out with his legs crushed by a Metal Monstrosity. He weeps for his children, who he will never see again, he screams his wife's name in vain. Before being silenced by my boot.
We entered the Mansion proper, and began our search for Mr. Goldman. Strangely, no security made it into the building. Lots of Fancy looking things were adorning the walls, vases and other Rich People shit. Everything had a Tarot Card motif. We finally found Goldman on the fifth floor. Then began perhaps the strangest conversation I have ever had in my entire life
 Goldman: I've been waiting for you. Friends.
(He has possibly the strangest voice I have ever heard. Like a Robot or something)
Morningstar: HEY It's Goldboy. HI GOLDBOY.
Malacoda: What do you mean you were waiting for us?
G: Puppets of the Faceless Emperor. Do you know why you are to kill me?
MS: Because you are incredibly hideous and it would be doing the world a favor?
G: MANKIND COMMITTED A SIN. DISTURBING THE LIFE CYCLE OF NATURE. We hurt Him. Now he shall hurt us back...
(He goes off on a tangent here about Humanity's Sin in disturbing the Loife (As he pronounces it) Cycle. I tuned him out. He is completely out of his mind.)
(Goldman then walked towards the window and opened it)
G: The Faceless Emperor will destroy mankind. He will destroy You. But he will not destroy me. Farewell friends.
He jumps out the window at this point. The funniest part is, the ground team found that he was still alive. Knocked out cold and with some broken bones. But alive.
We then decided to search the Mansion for anything we liked. Lots of shiny things, and believe me, I LOVE Shiny things. But there was this music box I found... Something about that melody speaks to my soul. Goldman won't be needing it anymore, that is for sure.
We also found Goldman's daughter hiding in a closet. Now we couldn't just leave the poor girl there alone, so we took her with us. We are going to make her one of us... Then she is going to perform that Rat torture I talked about earlier on her dear Daddy.
Once Goldboy is dead, I am getting the hell out of Canada. The Police are looking for us after the farm slaughter. My God I feel homesick.

The Slendermobile

I believe I mentioned getting the inspiration for this weapon by reading a Cracked Article. This is that article:
http://www.cracked.com/article_16611_5-real-world-criminals-who-were-certified-supervillains.html
The Killdozer. A marvelous invention. For those of you too lazy to click the link, The Killdozer is basically a tank. And now I GET TO RIDE IN ONE. THINK of the CARNAGE that will ensue! We even made a few additions. LIKE FLAMETHROWERS. And a paint job. We even gave it a name: "THE SLENDERMOBILE."
I wish the others could see it.
ANYWAY. Here is the plan. We are going to drive the thing up to the gate, and our inside guys will make sure it is open. Then we light the place up. LEAD, FIRE AND THE SCREEEEAMS OF THE UNWORTHY WILL FILL THE AIR!!!
After clearing out the courtyard, all but three of us will leave the Slendermobile. Naturally any remaining security will probably try to kill us at this point, so the Slendermobile will give us cover and covering fire. We will then make our way into the Goldman Mansion and make up for not being able to torture the BITCH. Gotta say, we could use a little bit of fun after last nights FAILURE.
Wish us luck kids.

Worthless Bitch

Three more died last night. Three more Chosen. My FRIENDS. Before Yesterday our number was 13. Now we are but 9... Graffiacane, Cagnazzo, Rubicante, Ciriatto... May your souls rest in Heaven with Father.
This may be my fault in some way. When I heard that BITCH killed Graffiacane, I sort of freaked out and ordered an attack. The Twelve of us, filled with rage, descended upon the farm shortly before Midnight. I did not expect any real resistance, so I had half of us go after the animals, while the rest of us were to attack the people. They were waiting for us it seems. They started shooting, we shot back. Needing a distraction, I decided to Light up the Night. So I set their barn on fire. Upon returning to the battlefield, I discovered Cagnazzo and Rubicante dead, along with two of the defenders. I saw Ciriatto fall next, with Malacoda promptly avenging him. SHE was around, I could tell. I did not see her, but she was nearly as easy to find as one of us.
It was about this time I realized that this was not a good idea. We fell back, and I stopped by the barn to make SURE all the things inside were dead or dying. I was followed in by an older man. Bastard was surprisingly tough, but he went down nonetheless. Then, as I looked back towards the entrance of the barn, guess who I saw?  She started shooting at me, so I was forced to escape out the back of the barn. 
What a disaster. We spent all morning giving the fallen a proper burial. We should not have attacked so quickly.... We did not have a plan, there was a full moon out, we were pissed off and thus stupid... The slaughter likely means I need to get the hell out of Canada now. If that Goddamn weapon is not there when I make it back to the Goldman Estate, I am going to just say FUCK IT, and leave.
Cagnazzo, Rubicante, Ciriatto... I am Sorry. Graffiacane, we WILL Avenge you.
Addendum: I also need to see to it that the Chosen who was ASSIGNED to the Bitch is punished for not assisting us. The Coward was nearby, but he ran away.